Culture Shapes Sex Differences in Mate Preferences

– by Adam Tratner, Nechumi Malovicki-Yaffe, & Melissa McDonald

Researchers have consistently documented sex differences in heterosexual mate preferences, indicating that women tend to prefer wealthier partners, and men tend to prefer young and attractive partners. This is one of the most robust findings in the evolutionary psychology literature on mate preferences and has stood the test of time amidst the ongoing replication crisis. It is often assumed that this sex difference is universal due to its cross-cultural constancy, but our recent publication reveals a rare but replicable sex-reversal in women’s preference for wealthy men among a sample of ultra-Orthodox Jewish Israelis.

Haredi Judaism is an extreme and insular branch of Orthodox Judaism that adheres to a strict interpretation of Jewish law. Many Haredi Jews in Israel live in segregated neighborhoods and abide by strict dress codes, dietary restrictions, social norms, and gender roles. Haredi men are encouraged to dedicate their lives to religious study of the Torah, whereas Haredi women are expected to financially support their family so their husbands can devote their time to this high religious purpose. In fact, it is quite common for Haredi women to be the breadwinners of their households.

This sociocultural arrangement, stemming from historical and political factors, deviates from traditional Judaism wherein men are expected to provide for their families. Despite widespread poverty among the ultra-Orthodox, this unique arrangement offers significant social benefits. The highest social status in the community is granted to Haredi men who demonstrate excellence in their Torah scholarship. The children of well-respected Torah scholars are more likely to be admitted to prestigious schools, and boys who excel in their studies are preferentially matched with girls from high-status families for marriage. The most prestigious religious scholars hold significant sway in community and political decision-making, and can gain financial support via a system of religious patronage. And until very recently, Torah scholars were exempt from mandatory military service.

This atypical system of social roles provides a unique opportunity to examine sex differences in mate preferences for wealth. In most cultures, wealth serves as a cue to men’s ability to acquire contested resources, but among the ultra-Orthodox community in Israel, it is excellence as a religious scholar that signals one’s prestige and power, whereas wealth accords Haredi men little social value.

Our research was inspired by a previous series of studies that compared mate preferences among Haredi and secular Jews living in Israel. The results showed that secular Israeli Jews displayed the “typical” pattern of sex differences in which women preferred wealthy men, and men preferred younger, more attractive partners. In contrast, Haredi men ranked the earning capacity of prospective romantic partners as more important than Haredi women did, and Haredi women instead reported a stronger preference for partners who demonstrated strong religious devotion. However, Haredi men still prioritized youth and attractiveness more strongly than women. These preliminary findings are consistent with the idea that secular and Haredi women alike value high status partners, but that the means of acquiring status differs for secular and Haredi Jews.

We revisited this line of work in our recent publication. We replicated the previous findings in a much larger sample, finding that Haredi men rated and ranked the economic prospects of a partner as more important than Haredi women did, and Haredi women indicated a stronger preference for partners devoted to Torah scholarship. Extending these findings, we expected the sex-reversal in preferences for economic prospects to shift as a function of religious conservatism, as it is the most conservative Haredi men and women who strongly adhere to the unique gender roles of the community, and for whom men’s status is rooted in religious scholarship. As expected, the sex difference in valuing a partner’s economic prospects was strongest among the most religiously conservative ultra-Orthodox. Among the least religiously conservative, the pattern was reversed, and aligned more closely with the “classic” finding that women value economic prospects more than men.

In a second study we tested some of our assumptions about how power is gained within the Haredi community. The results indicated that religious devotion is the true currency of social status for Haredi men, whereas for women what mattered most was being kind and understanding. Women’s economic output, although preferred by men, granted women little power within the community or in the home. Knowing nothing else, one might have expected that a society in which women are the breadwinners would bring about greater gender parity in power and influence, but instead, women’s work seems to function as a means to promote men’s status.

Although the results may seem superficially puzzling from an evolutionary standpoint, they are nevertheless consistent with the idea that men have evolved preferences for healthy and fertile women, and women have evolved preferences for high-status men. The novelty of our findings is that we have documented a rare instance of a cultural system in which wealth does not convey status. In doing so, we highlight the interplay between evolved mechanisms and cultural inputs. The previously observed constancy in women’s stronger preference for wealthy men should be ascribed not just to the governing stability of an evolved psychological mechanism, but also to the relative uniformity of inputs to that mechanism across cultures. Women’s strong preference for high status men (an indicator of their ability to acquire resources) is expected to be robust, but the specific expression of that preference will depend on the cultural norms that govern how status is obtained.

Inherent to this reasoning is that mate preferences may shift as a culture changes. In recent years, the Haredi community has begun modernizing due to increased integration with secular communities and greater participation in the modern workforce. Internet usage among Haredi Jews has increased rapidly since the COVID-19 pandemic (from 40% of the Haredi population before the pandemic to 80% after). Many Haredi women are now employed in Israel’s lucrative information technology sector, and the community has begun to diverge into subgroups characterized by varying degrees of secularism and materialism. The laws that once exempted Torah scholars from mandatory military service have changed, which means that Haredi Jews will soon join secular Israelis in the defense of their country. The increasing modernization of the ultra-Orthodox community may alter what determines social status for Haredi men, and what Haredi women desire in their romantic partners. Only time will tell.

Click here to read the original article: Malovicki-Yaffe, N., Tratner, A. E., & McDonald, M. M. (2024). Culture shapes sex differences in mate preferences. Evolution and Human Behavior, 45(3), 281-291.